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November 2, 2012
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Space my dear
is where I go,
when no one else
is here to know.

I travel high,
far and wide
until I reach the
endless sky.

I rise my dear
past the earth.
Far beyond its
pulling girth.

Up into the stars
of night.
I hope to find

My own delight.
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:iconmariatheknight:
~Mariatheknight Nov 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Love em! :D
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:iconmizubender:
~mizubender Nov 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Oh this is lovely. Well done. :)
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:iconavocadogrenade:
Thanks ever so much, it means the world to me - this being my first try at writing poems and all X)
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:iconkymira12:
!Kymira12 Nov 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I enjoyed this piece. It was simplistic yet held a lot of meaning. My interpretation of it someone whose love is the night sky and the only way they're happy is when the stars are glowing above them. Just one minor thing, while reading your third stanza it reads awkwardly out loud whenever I read it and when I read it in my mind, it is the same thing. I think by placing another word before night might be able to fix it a little, such as:

'..Up into [Unto] the stars
of [shining] night.
I hope to find
My own delight..'


Overall, its a nice little poem and you did a great job writing it!
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:iconavocadogrenade:
I'm glad you like it :D I Actually interpret as a drug trip or someone escaping into a dreamland lol but the more interpretations the better I love hearing peoples ideas and theories.
As for the edit to the last stanza I feel as if its too much to say in one breath and breaks the flow (but that might just be me). I did have some trouble with it, however to me it fits best as is. I will try to look into some better wording for it perhaps.
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:iconh-a-cooke:
Mood: Joy *H-A-Cooke Nov 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
This is a good poem! Short, sweet and full of meaning.

I will suggest on slight word choice change:

"I rise my dear
past the earth."

^ You have "pass the earth," which is loose grammar, that sticks out due to the clear rhyming pattern you've established. You can change this by writing "past."
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:iconavocadogrenade:
Ohhh that makes so much more sense XD LoL I didn't even notice it thanks~
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:iconh-a-cooke:
*H-A-Cooke Nov 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome! :-) Just something I noticed.
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